The Northern Clemency by Philip Hensher

Originally published on A Walk Through Books on 02/01/09
In a nod to the nineteenth-century narrative tradition that it seems to have been plucked from, Hensher’s latest novel can be dubbed both a tale of two cities and, for this reader at least, a tale of two books.

A book laden with dust-jacket claims heavy enough to sink a battleship - a “condition-of-England” novel, a “condition-of-humanity” novel, “reminiscent of the great nineteenth-century Russian novels” - it bored with kitchen-sink details for 300 pages before setting off on an engrossing ride through 20 years of English history. Politically centred about the 80s miners’ strike in Sheffield, it also examines the bloating of the middle-classes and the death of 70s-born radicalism.

It’s also a book rooted heavily in the everyday, as Hensher dissects the progression of familial relationships as children grow into adults and parents seep into old age, and he does so expertly. The dialogue is never anything other than thoroughly readable and painstakingly believable, and this is something that Hensher clearly prided himself on in his writing of the novel, having said in an interview with Safraz Manzoor for a Guardian Podcast: “I always find it absolutely incredible when I read most novels set in the 1970s that people pay so little attention to the way people expressed themselves.”

And although the first 300 pages tire somewhat with their seeming lack of direction, the following 450 pages provide a justification for the author’s whopping introduction. It is the first 300 pages that set up the minor tensions that Hensher manipulates and exploits in a way that make the second-half’s revelations so engrossing and, more importantly, convincing.

I’ve already mentioned the kitchen-sink, and Hensher draws heavily on spirit of the kitchen-sink dramas of Ken Loach in weighing out the balance of the political and the personal in this extremely weighty tome.

In the same interview with Manzoor mentioned earlier, Hensher refuted Manzoor’s observation that “some people have said that there isn’t enough politics in [the book]” by saying “I think it’s constantly political.” And it is in the way that the north-south divide is political, in the way that the change of polytechnics into universities was political, in the way that having an affair with your boss or turning an old warehouse into a restaurant is political, in the way that, really, everything is political if you want it to be.

The novel encapsulates all of the aforementioned events, and it is really more of a politically-subtle piece than anything, as Hensher is well-aware:

“My starting point was to evoke the domestic texture of life…to focus on small events…the miniature features of people’s lives, and to extrapolate a sort of political implication from those.”
And this is where a large part of the book’s charm lies. Who would want to read a 750 page novel of overt political soap-boxing? And how would it be a novel if this is what it did?

What we have here is a novel that takes in and spits out the prominent political issues of the final 30 years of the 20th century, not a political textbook. And thank God for that, because if we had a textbook instead we’d be robbed of one of the memorable novels of the first ten years of the 21st century.

Political Websites: The Conservatives

Originally published on General Election Blog on 08/03/10

As the shadow of the general election looms the political parties are jockeying for position, both in the real world and online. Fingertips’ Ian Shine takes a look at what the different parties’ websites tell us about them, beginning with the Conservatives…

When you log on to the Conservatives’ website you’re met with a raft of boxes floating in a sea of blue.

Not the dark blue that the Conservative party was associated with in the 80s, when they had some kind of stance on things and some concrete policies, but rather a washy light blue, the kind of blue that might be found on a child’s bedroom walls.

You’ll also see the Tories’ new logo, that little scribbly tree which looks a bit like something a child, maybe the one from the bedroom with the light blue walls, might have knocked up in art class.

It’s very friendly, a lot less aggressive than their old torch with blue and red flames, and reminds us that the Tories are a friendly bunch who likes trees.

After all that it’s time to explore some of the Tories’ boxes. The top part is quite newsy, with a big box on the left that changes to illustrate the latest Tory news headlines, which appear on the right.

Most of the time David Cameron is the man in the picture, although geeky Michael Gove gets a look in for a story on raising school standards, while a crimson Ken Clarke is the cover model for a story about Labour’s economic incompetence.

Trying to be simple

Scrolling down there are flashes of green to accompany the pale blue and underline the Tories’ environmental edge, but it all looks very amateur, like a GCSE student’s coursework project.

The Tories are clearly trying to be simple in order to get across to simple people, the kind of people who sit yelling in standard class trains while other people are trying to work according to Nicholas Winterton – the kind of people who don’t normally vote Tory.

They are also the kind of people who probably don’t have iPhones and thus won’t be able to take advantage of the Tories’ new iPhone application. And they probably don’t have the inclination to spend their hard-earned money in the site’s Online Shop: hard-earned money that according to the Tories they probably don’t have much of under Labour.

The shop plays on the party’s campaign slogan of “Vote for Change” and has the banner “Shop for Change”, although you won’t be getting much of that from a £20 note if you dare to venture inside.

There is a “Bye Bye Bureaucracy” poster for £10 and a mug emblazoned with “Tea For Change” – yes, we get it – for £6, and even a £14 Baby-grow (for all those teenage mums) with “Future Prime Minister” on the front.

Policy

The policy section is picture-heavy, probably to help those simple people who can’t read to click on the right section.

The countryside section has a picture of some fields, the transport section has a picture of a train. All very clear, although some confusion might arise from choosing a picture of the Houses of Parliament for the democracy section.

I plump for the potentially election-deciding economy section and am met with some unbearably small type alongside some pictures and videos of George Osbourne, none of which show him catching some rays on a Russian billionaire’s yacht.

This look at policy seems somewhat at odds with the rest of the site as it sprawls over almost 1,500 words, isn’t very colourful and is boring even to someone interested in politics.

What they should have done

A few weeks ago the Tories came up with six election pledges – more than a little like Tony Blair’s election-winning five pledges in 1997 – that were supposed to encapsulate what they were about in six short sentences:

• Act now on debt to get the economy moving
• Get Britain working by boosting enterprise
• Make Britain the most family-friendly country in Europe
• Back the NHS
• Raise standards in schools
• Change politics

However, I can’t find them on their website.

If the Tories want to convey a simple image to connect with simple people and get people voting for them who have never voted for them before, this should be their homepage.

It would enable anyone logging on even for a moment to see that they stand for something and to understand why they should consider voting Tory.

As it is their website projects an image of a party still under construction, far from 100% sure what it actually stands for and who it is trying to appeal to.

The homepage doesn’t really feel coherent, let alone the site as a whole, and it is not immediately striking even after an hour browsing the site what one would be voting for if one were to vote Conservative.
The Tories need to grasp the firm edges of their former torch and burn their vague scribbly tree of a website to the ground.

What the fans have to say: West Ham United

Originally published on 90minutesonline on 13/10/09

Icelandic owners, the Tevez and Mascherano affair and hooliganism have each blighted West Ham fans’ last few seasons.

The 2009/10 season hasn’t exactly started brilliantly either. The club sit in 19^th with five points from seven games, but 90minutesonline found Graeme Howlett, editor of Knees Up Mother Brown, in fairly optimistic mood.

How happy are you with the season so far?

I’ve seen better. Two wins – against newly-promoted Wolves and League One Millwall (aet) - are all we have to show for the first two months of the season. That is our worst start since 2002/03, the season we were last relegated.

The parallels with 2002/03 are striking: a major lack of investment in the first team squad; a manager coming off the back of a good season (for Zola read Roeder); fans at war with the board. Hopefully the outcome won’t mirror that dreadful year.

What are you expecting from this season?

A battle in the lower half of the table until Christmas, but I’m hoping for a third consecutive top ten finish come May.

What are your greatest fears for this season?

Although our start has been poor, relegation shouldn’t be an issue as long as we can keep the majority of our thinner-than-ever squad fit.

The biggest fear however would be that we go into next season with the creditors of former owner Bjorgolfur Gudmundsson, CB Holding, still in control of the club. That way lies only doom.

Is Gianfranco Zola a good enough manager to keep you in the Premiership?

Absolutely. In Zola’s defence most would struggle with the hand he’s been left to play with. Fortunately we have the considerably experienced Steve Clarke ably assisting.

What do you make of the hooliganism at the Carling Cup game against Millwall? Was it inevitable considering the history between the clubs and the fact that they so rarely play each other, having only been in the same league in eight seasons since 1945? Should it have been played behind closed doors?

Nobody comes out of this well, but the Police and the authorities (FA, FL) have to take some responsibility for that night’s problems. It was the Police who insisted on Millwall’s ticket allocation being halved, a decision that led to 500 ticketless Millwall “supporters” being outside the ground.

The Met eventually let them in for nothing simply to get them off the streets. The FA had no objections to this at the time and only feigned concern once the media demanded a response.

For some reason we had less than 400 Police officers on duty that night. The last time the clubs met five or six years ago there were around 1,000 officers on duty, and that was for a Sunday lunchtime rather than a Tuesday evening fixture. You have to wonder why those decisions were made and for whose benefit.

Despite the media outrage there were only 14 arrests made on the night of the game – the very same number as those arrested during the Birmingham-Aston Villa derby a fortnight later, and considerably less than the number arrested at the 2009 Glastonbury music festival earlier this summer.

So it was all blown out of proportion?

Despite all the talk of “hooliganism” and “riots” the only video evidence of disturbances on the night showed a group of West Ham fans being hemmed in by Police outside the Queens pub and a handful of exuberant fans celebrating on the pitch following Junior Stanislas’ 87^th minute equaliser. As far as I know not one single punch was shared between opposing supporters inside the ground.

Yes, there were one or two scuffles with stewards, which were unpleasant to witness, and the fans involved were booed by the majority of supporters at the game.

But on the whole it was blown massively out of proportion. No surprise there really though, with such easy targets as West Ham and Millwall.

I should perhaps point out that I am in no way condoning the actions of anyone involved in violent scenes. However this really needs to be seen for what it was, not for what the media – who, I’m sure are quite happy to take money from those wishing to advertise films such as Green Street and Football Factory – made it out to be.

[Indeed, When Saturday Comes reported in its October 2009 issue that Sky Sports News transmitted an advert for The Firm, a remake of a 1980s film about West Ham hooligans, during their coverage of the events at the West Ham-Millwall game].

Do films that portray West Ham gangs, such as Green Street and Cass, only stoke the fires and egg on suggestible fans, or do they serve a purpose as historical documents and deter fans from getting involved in hooliganism?

If someone has a desire to crack skulls they’re likely to do so without requiring a prompt from shoddy and inaccurate films like Green Street. In the same way video games don’t really make kids go out and shoot each other.

History informs us that young men have always had a penchant for fighting, so I’m not sure films have much sway in that.

Who’s your best player and why?

England’s number one, Rob Green. The finest goalkeeper we’ve had at United since Phil Parkes in the early 1980s.

And which player would you gladly see the back of? And why?

No players as such, although poor old Nigel Quashie is unlikely to be missed by many.

However, we’ll be holding a party when CB Holding and Straumur-Burdaras Bank finally do the decent thing and sell the club to someone who gives a toss. They don’t want us, and we certainly don’t want them.

If you could sign one player from another team in the Premier League, who would it be and why?

Assuming it is an unlimited budget, and given our current lack of options in attack, probably Fernando Torres or our old boy Jermain [Defoe] who has been banging them in up the road at Spurs.

I’m sure many of our number would welcome the return of a certain Carlos Alberto Tevez, who, in case you weren’t aware kept us up single-handedly in 2006/07. Well, according to Lord Griffiths [lawyer and head of the independent inquiry into the Tevez transfer. He ordered West Ham to compensate Sheffield United with £20m over five seasons in the light of West Ham’s Premier League survival and Sheffield United’s relegation].

What’s West Ham’s best terrace chant?

Well Bubbles is obviously synonymous with the club, but the Sign On song which we have reserved for Liverpool since the days of Boys From The Black Stuff always raises a smile.

Sung to the tune of You’ll Never Walk Alone, it goes:

“Sign on, sign on, With a pen, in your hand, ‘Cos you’ll never get a job, You’ll never get a job.”

What half-time snacks do you recommend at Upton Park?

Anything you manage to smuggle in with you! The balti pies will leave you with third degree burns.

What are your best and worst memories of supporting West Ham?

Sitting on my father’s shoulders after we beat Fulham to win the Cup in 1975 is a special memory, but more recently the play-off win against Preston at Cardiff and the FA Cup Final where we were seconds away from lifting the Cup in 2006 [against Liverpool].

We’d probably be here all night talking about the worst, but being told that Tevez was solely responsible for Sheffield United not accruing enough points over the course of a 38-game season to avoid relegation in 2006/07 was pretty hard to take.

If you could change one thing at West Ham, what would it be?

The owners.

Where are West Ham going to be in five years’ time?

Again we come back to who’s in charge. With CB Holding we’re in trouble long-term, make no bones about it. They have to go, and soon. With a David Gold [chairman of Birmingham City chairman], David Sullivan [chairman of Birmingham City plc, the club’s parent company] or equivalent then perhaps we can return to being regular challengers for a European slot. [David Sullivan has recently ruled himself out of buying West Ham when he sells his Birmingham City shares to Carson Yeung next week, saying he needs a break].